My nine-year old son, Brandon, is one of the most interesting and witty kids that I have encountered. Sometimes, he says things while joking around with us that make my wife Pam and I double over in laughter. Other times, he is able to do this unintentionally. Over the past few weeks since his birthday (mid-December), he has had a few moments that I thought were worth documenting here.
The other day, Pam asked Brandon to help get some cereal for his little sister. He prepared the bowl, and Pam remarked, "That's great, Br.." when she was interrupted sharply by Brandon:
"Well, I know exactly how much a six-year old needs."
Pam mentioned to me that he sounded very much like Dwight Shrute from "The Office" when he said this. In other words, he said it in a very serious and focused manner, as if it were common knowledge.
Another humorous (or at least it is to me) new development makes it feel like the teenage years are closer than I sometimes realize.
When we ask him a question that he is not completely sure about, he quickly retorts, "Don't know, don't care." It looks much worse when I type it out, but he says it so nonchalantly that it is actually more funny than disrespectful. I am guessing he picked this up from TV or from a book.
Yesterday, when he got up in the morning, he asked me, "Is today Saturday?" I told him that it was, and he immediately launched into a celebration:
"Yes!! Oh, yeah! Yes! (singing) It's Saturday today!" Then, "Wait…(calmly, to himself)…Savor the moment. Savor the moment." While I can certainly relate to this last sentiment, it was hilarious coming from him.
Since we homeschool, I am not generally as surprised as I used to be when I hear something that my kids say that makes them sound like college professors speaking to each other. I learn more from my wife than I care to admit, as she is frankly a lot smarter than I am, at least in certain areas, especially the sciences.
My son is also quite literal sometimes. For example, Pam was teaching the kids about different birds from a rather extensive Animal Dictionary book that we have:
PAM: Look at this one. It's really pretty. He has green feathers on his head, and…
BRANDON: Too bad he's made out of wood, though.
BRANDON (smiling): It says it right there – "wood duck".
Pam absolutely lost it and started laughing.
BRANDON: Well, it says it right there on the page.
I got to join in the laughter, too, since I was working at home.
ME: How much wood would a wood duck duck if a wood duck could duck wood?
Welcome to the world of homeschooling, especially when your kids are geniuses. I have a feeling that we are in for a lot of laughs as the kids get older.
As always, thanks for reading!